"And then as I turn out the lamp after preparing for my interview (sticky with an ac that doesn't work) I realize..this is the beginning of new chapters. Beginning of goodbyes. And it's hard, and it's sad, but it's good. And I know that He never changes and He is continually guiding me. "
-A quote from my journal at the end of May.
I'm back in the US! Back in Columbia, holding on tight as God is working things out for this next season. It's been quite a transition. A bit messy at times. I easily get in a funk or a daze, become short, snappy, and selfish about what I want. I'm adjusting to the transition of a new job, new place to live, new surroundings! It's like my 1st year of post-grad life all over again but this time I get to learn about fun things like loans, credit cards, contracts, and other big girl duties. :)
For a while I was in denial about what was really happening. I'm a slow processor, so it's taking a while for me to adjust to this new season and realize I've left the last season. You see, I have lived, worked, played, eaten, sweat, processed, worshipped, cried, laughed, killed rats, grown, learned more about myself, lived life all with this tight knit community for about 9 months. I'm still figuring out this new relationship with Haiti and the people my heart is so attached to.
A few things have changed, but in the grand scheme of things, nothing much has changed. I'm still a missionary, I just make my own money now, and my life isn't on display as a "foreign missionary." Back here I easily fall back into relying on myself and not being forced to stretch and rely on Him daily. I pray to trust and open up to all that He has for me here. To be obedient here. To see through His eyes. To see my new ministry and walk into that. I pray to see need in the US, my purpose here, that I would be fully alive here and that parts of me that were so fruitful in Haiti would be just as fruitful here.
I pray that even when I want to speak Creole and no one knows what I'm saying, when I want to be belting out Creole worship with sweat rolling down my back, or holding ragamuffin kiddos, riding on a bumpy dirt road, swatting mosquitos from my body, casting the vision, getting kids sponsored, seeing team members get it, responding to my name being pronounced "Bwitney;" when my whole heart aches to be there, that I would say it is well. He is with me and He is good.
You too can still support Haiti from the states, because although I don't live in Haiti right now, Haiti is still a huge part of who I am, and the Lord is doing huge things there. Support a missionary, sponsor a child, follow the blog, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter for updates, and pray for Haiti!
Things have lined up so perfectly for me. The Lord has really supplied everything and worked everything out for this next season. These physical needs He's met bring hope that He will continue to meet my emotional needs too. I have a wonderful job with a great team, in a great grade level, a place to live with sweet believers, community, resources upon resources for my new classroom. Things I didn't even ask for that the Lord is so graciously giving. It's so perfectly affirming that this is where I'm supposed to be next, this is right. It is well.
Lamentations 3:22-24:
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore I will hope in him.
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore I will hope in him.
2 Peter 1:3 "His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence."
Jesus, that I would know and believe that You are enough. That my full and complete joy and satisfaction is in You.
Let this be my anthem, my song of praise: "Jezi se tout pou mwen"
Jesus is all for me. And He's all for you too!
